Rebellion Deleted Scenes
by Halibugz
Summary: Deleted Scenes to the 15 chapter fic 'Rebellion'. Edward Elric, a Stat Alchemist, lives with a secret he never wanted anyone to know, until it comes out. Here are little bits of what I had wanted to write into 'Rebellion', but never got the chance. HIATUS
1. Lab 5

**I finally got around to writing this! So, same warnings go for the deleted scenes that went for the original story. If you haven't read 'Rebellion', this is probably gonna get pretty confusing for you, so you should go check it out. It's only 15 chapters long!**

 **Lastly, if the subject of sexual child abuse is offensive, please do not read this.**

* * *

 **Rebellion Deleted Scenes**

 **Lab 5**

Chimeras. Chimeras were running toward Edward as he stood, not knowing what to do while he held the helmet of the Slicer Brothers in his arms. He backed away from the creatures running toward him, fighting them off as much as he could. When a chimera lashed at him unexpectedly, he held up his automail to shield himself when he heard a loud whistle. Suddenly, the chimeras stopped, bowing down to large footsteps walking from the darkness.

"What happened?" Edward asked. He tensed at the footsteps as they grew closer.

"The chimera have their master, the one who created them," Number 48 explained.

"You're telling me someone lives down here?" Ed asked as he continued to stare into the darkness, waiting to see what would come from it.

"Some _one_? I think it could be better described as some _thing_ ," Number 48 said as a large paw stepped out of the darkness.

Standing before the two of them was a large furry creature. Edward only watched it. The creature wasn't attacking them. Yet.

"That's a chimera," Ed stated. "You mean this one created all the others?"

"No," the chimera whispered out in a familiar voice. "Not all of them." The chimera tilted forward slightly, revealing the face of Shou Tucker.

Edward's eyes widened and he gasped at the man standing before him.

"It's been a long time, Edward," Tucker said with a grin. Ed gulped as the thoughts raced through him. All the humiliation he had been put through…the injuries…the abuse…the _rape._ What he had done to Nina. Everything.

"Tucker…" Edward answered in a wavering voice. He thought Tucker had been dead, finding solace in this ever since he had been told the man was deceased. Now, though…fear raced through him. "The Sewing Life Alchemist…"

Ed dropped Number 48, running to Tucker and gripping onto the chimera's chest. "But how?! The military said you were executed!" He had _trusted_ the military when they told him this. He remembered being relieved.

"My brother and I were still in this place even though the records _say_ we were killed," Number 48 mentioned. "I'm not surprised they kept _others_ alive in this place."

"Yeah, but that's not what I'm talking about!" Edward shouted. "It's Nina…" Ed physically shook as he said this. He didn't mention what Tucker had done in front of Number 48. That was _his_ secret. "Your daughter is dead because of what you did! How could they allow you to live?!" I'm _dead because of what you did,_ Edward thought to himself.

"I'm living for Nina," Tucker said. Edward nearly lost his grip on the chimera. "I've been experimenting with human transmutation in order to bring Nina back to me. Only this Nina will be the perfect Nina. She'll be better than she ever was."

"You can't do that!" Ed protested. "Even if you _could_ bring back her body, you can't give her a soul!"

"I suppose I didn't train you to be obedient enough," Tucker commented, causing Edward to snap his lips shut and to release the chimera. He was scared. Tucker knew this. "Her soul lives inside of me."

"It won't be the same; she won't be the real Nina," Edward said, quieter this time.

"She'll be better than before," Tucker repeated. "Experimenting with human transmutation left me in this form, but it will all be worth it in the end. No one can recognize me any longer; I can be free with Nina when this is over."

"I can recognize you," Ed said. "You still look like the same disgusting old man you've always been," the teen spat.

"Remember where you are," Tucker warned. "I can sick my chimeras on you any time I'd like and have them eat you alive."

"I'm not a scared little kid anymore; I can take them," Edward growled.

"You still look the same, Edward," Tucker said. "I bet you look the same underneath your clothing as well. But you're older now…I could always take you in, but we'd have to get rid of that pesky hair I'm sure you've grown." Ed knew what Tucker was talking about, and he spat on the ground in disgust.

"Shut up!" Ed exclaimed. "You sick perverted fuck! I'd never go with you again!" Edward felt like vomiting on the floor. He did exactly that, kneeling over as he did so. He hated to show this kind of weakness in front of Tucker. He didn't want the man to know how much power he still held.

 _I've got to get out of this building,_ Ed thought to himself. _I need to get away from Tucker. I need to find Alphonse and run!_

Edward would continue to stand his ground until he could find Alphonse. He would push away his thoughts on Tucker and pretend as though the man wasn't there. That he was still dead.

But deep inside, Ed knew he could never function properly with Tucker alive.


	2. Nightly Trauma

**Nightly Trauma**

Alphonse frowned as he watched his brother toss and turn in bed. Ever since they tried to bring their mother back, Edward had been plagued with nightmares. But this time, this nightmare wasn't about human transmutation.

It was about what Tucker, the man they used to live with, had put Edward through.

The torture Edward had to endure while living there.

Even though they no longer lived with Tucker, Edward still wouldn't tell his brother of what he endured. He wouldn't tell anyone.

Tucker had been executed; he was dead and gone with no possibility of upholding his threats on the twelve year old, but Edward was still terrified.

Part of him blamed himself, and part of him was too ashamed over allowing Tucker to hurt him for so long that he didn't want to admit it.

He had a full military team that would help him in a heartbeat, but he stayed quiet.

"Brother?" Alphonse asked when Ed's tossing and turning became more frequent. Eventually Ed began to cry out in his sleep, which was when Hughes - who they were currently staying with - ran in with his gun. He thought there was an intruder in his home and was relieved to find that it was just Edward, but at the same time, worried about the pre-teen.

"Edward," Hughes said gently, placing a hand on Ed's shoulder. Ed jumped up out of bed and looked over to Hughes, flinching away. "Are you all right, Edward?"

It took a moment for Ed to realize where he was before letting out a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, I..." Ed trailed off. Hughes picked up on embarrassing vibes Ed was throwing off.

"Hey, Al, would you go check on Elysia?" Hughes asked. Elysia was still a baby, but Hughes was just trying to distract the youngest Elric.

"Yes, sir," Al said, standing and leaving the room.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hughes asked when Al was gone. Hughes knew nothing about the Elric brothers' past, but knew it wasn't good if a kid his age thought joining the military was a good idea and that they didn't have a parent to object to the decision.

Ed stayed silent.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Hughes said. He lived long enough to see a boy who wet his bed after a nightmare and was too scared and embarrassed to say anything about it.

"Hughes?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

* * *

Ed jumped up in the hospital. He didn't remember what happened and was terrified that Tucker had gotten to him. Hell, Tucker was the only thing he _did_ remember.

"Thank goodness, you're all right!" Maria Ross said when Ed woke up. He only stared at her for a moment, trying to comprehend what was just said to him.

 _Thank goodness, you're all right!_

Was he all right?


	3. Aftermath

**Aftermath**

"Edward," Mustang said when Ed had come in, asking about Tucker. It had been a few days since Ed ha discovered the chimera Tucker had created with his daughter and dog.

Just a few days since Mustang had told Edward to grow up and get over his problems when the boy had found the corpse of the little girl he cared for so dearly, exploded from the inside out.

He knew Ed would ask about Tucker sooner of later.

"The Sewing Life Alchemist has been executed. The military was so embarrassed of his actions that he was sentenced without a trial," Mustang explained.

"What?!" Ed exclaimed. He would give them something to be guilty over. "What do you mean? He's dead?!"

"Fullmetal, you're a smart enough boy to know that execution means he is dead," Mustang said, hardly paying attention to his youngest subordinate. "I have an assignment for you, if you're done asking questions."

"Sir, I need to go see Tucker's grave." The word 'sir' felt disgusting on Edward's tongue.

"Fullmetal, I _just_ said I had an assignment for you," Mustang said, looking up to the boy. He noticed how pale Edward had become and sighed. _I'm too nice,_ the man thought. "Report here first thing in the morning for your assignment."

"Thanks, Mustang," Ed said, turning and bolting from the room.

The colonel paused.

" _Mustang_?"

* * *

Edward found out Tucker's grave location from Havoc. The lieutenant was nice enough to give him small details about the case, but Ed didn't want to know the whole story. He knew enough; more than anyone else would ever know.

Ed knelt over the grave. It was just a small headstone that read, _Loving Father_. No mentioning of him ever being in the military.

 _Some father he was,_ Ed thought. _Even_ my _old man wasn't as bad as him_. His dad may have walked out on him, but he never did what Tucker did.

"You just had to die before I could get back at you, huh?" Ed asked the grave. He took an automail hand and beat on the ground.

Ed knew if Tucker had lived, he probably wouldn't have gotten the revenge he wanted. He was just a kid.

"I hate you..." Ed trailed off. "You don't control me anymore! I'm not the perfect soldier and I'm not your pet. I'm just Ed! And I won't ever take orders from anyone else again!" Ed exclaimed.

Ed continued to pound on the ground for hours before he heard Al's armor behind him.

"I'm upset too, brother," Alphonse said in his sweet brotherly tone of voice. He didn't want Edward to feel guilty or sad.

"I know, Al," Ed managed out in a wavering voice. Alphonse would never know the pain that he had gone through. He never wanted Al to feel that way. "Sorry for losing it. How'd you find me?" Ed wanted to change the subject quickly.

"Lieutenant Havoc told me where you went," Al answered. "He deserved to be executed for what he did, brother."

"He deserved more of my fist in his mouth," Ed said.

Alphonse was silent for a moment before muttering, "I thought you were going to kill him, brother."

"I wish I did," Ed responded.

"You don't mean that," Alphonse said.

His big brother wasn't a murderer.

But he didn't have the same big brother anymore.

"You're right, Al," Ed lied.

* * *

 **In case you guys didn't notice, that was the first time Ed had called Roy 'Mustang' and the colonel was taken aback by it.**


	4. Research

**Research**

Even after Ed had rejected the military, refusing to do Tucker's research, he still ended up with Tucker's research notes in his hands, reading through them to continue what had been abandoned.

Alphonse wasn't there this time. Ed said he wanted to go through the research notes by himself, but he was just afraid he would break down in front of Al, and didn't want to go through the explanation of what Tucker had done to him.

That's when Ed found it.

A folder labeled _Edward_.

Hesitantly, Ed opened it.

 _My work with Edward is coming along well. He's already satisfied me several times without as much of a fight as he had put up before,_ Tucker wrote.

Just _when_ did he take these notes? Ed sure as hell never knew about this. He couldn't help but delve deeper into the notes until he couldn't any longer.

* * *

Havoc returned from where he had left Ed and couldn't help but see the boy, pale as a ghost and curled up on the ground, as he read through research. Maybe he was wrong for not protesting against his commanding officer when the colonel was making Ed do this. Maybe it was too much for the kid?

"Hey, chief..." Havoc trailed off. He had been calling Ed by the nickname ever since he met the kid, and Ed seemed to find reassurance in the nickname. Probably because it wasn't a crack at his height.

Ed looked up at him like a deer caught in headlights.

"You can be done. I'll report the rest to the colonel."

"Thanks..." Ed trailed off. He stood from where he was curled up on the ground, tucking the folders he had been going through into his coat.

"Chief, you can't take that," Havoc protested.

"Watch me," Ed said, walking out. He didn't care of the repercussions.

He wouldn't be ordered around any longer.

* * *

 **Sorry, guys! If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to upload a chapter once a week on Thursday. This time, though, I lost track of the days (I'm on spring break!) and forgot to upload until today.**

 **See you next week!**


	5. Inappropriate Punishment

**Requested by DoctorChimera**

 **Inappropriate Punishment**

It was another visit down to the basement for Edward. Ed didn't understand just _how_ Tucker managed to distract Alphonse and Nina, but he was sure the man was clever with the excuse. After all, he had been tricking Ed's own brother into believing that Edward was simply studying hard for the exam when he was inside the basement.

"It's been too long, Edward," Tucker said. The man was right - it had been a while since they had a 'visit' together. Ed had been studying for the exams in Colonel Mustang's office; the colonel had graciously offered his office for Ed to study without a child in the way, and Ed wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to stay away from the Tucker residence. Eventually, though, Ed had to come back to Tucker.

He would always end up back with Tucker.

"Come sit down with me, Edward," Tucker instructed. He sat down on a chair and patted his lap, and Ed instantly knew the man wanted him to sit on his lap. The pre-teen hesitated before Tucker patted his lap harshly. " _Now_ , Edward."

"Yes, sir," Edward said, trying to avoid another beating. He had already needed to explain a hurt arm to Alphonse; he didn't want to lie to everyone again, especially not his little brother.

Ed moved over to Tucker, sitting on the man's lap. He clenched his eyes shut, thinking of better days. Of when his mom used to make stew and gave him and Al cookies as soon as they were cooled from the oven. He would even rather take his father being around than _this_.

"You probably think that sitting on my lap is going to avoid injury," Tucker said. "But you're wrong." Ed's eyes opened and snapped up to the elder alchemist. "You not only hesitated when I gave you a direct order, but you've been avoiding me all week. Don't you understand how lonely I get?"

"Yeah, so let's take it out on a kid," Ed said, and it was truly the only time he would refer himself as a kid.

"Well, you'll certainly be getting a different punishment," Tucker said. "After you were unable to hide your arm injury from your brother like a _man_ , you'll be receiving punishment as a _child_."

"What are you talking about?" Ed asked. It wasn't long after he asked this question that he was flipped over onto Tucker's lap and the man was working down his leather pants. "What are you doing?!"

"Ah, ah, ah," Tucker silenced him. "You wouldn't want Alphonse or Nina to hear and come down here, would you?"

"...Right," Ed said. The only thing he could do was to grip onto Tucker's pants, try and forget about the bulge pressing into his stomach, and bear through the pain he was about to experience.

Needless to say, it _hurt_. Tucker started out with his hand at first before increasing to a heavy book and had eventually retrieved a crop and was spanking Edward with that.

Being prideful, the last thing Ed wanted to do was to cry. He tried to hold everything in for as long as he could, but it hurt too much. Edward had begun to cry over the alchemist's lap, but resorted to biting his left hand for comfort. He whimpered when the hand was removed from his mouth.

"You're not going to distract yourself from this pain, Edward," Tucker said. "I want you to remember it." Tucker continued to spank Edward, the tools getting worse and the pain increasing after every ten swats.

When it was over, Edward was expecting to be allowed to go. Usually when Tucker let him go, Ed would go and take a shower, doing his best to get clean, but never being able to get clean enough. This time, though, Tucker produced a heavy chain that was connected to the floor and clasped the collar-like ending onto Edward's neck like a dog.

"W-What are you doing?" Ed asked. He couldn't leave the basement this way.

"I want you to have some time to reflect on what you've done," Tucker said. "I might be back to get you tomorrow. Maybe next time the colonel offers you a place to study, you'll turn him down. If I didn't have you to play with, Edward, just what would I do to Nina?" With that said, Tucker turned and left the room.

Edward stared at the door hopelessly as he was left in the dark. The chain weighed heavily on him.

 _I'm going to die here,_ Ed thought to himself. _I'm going to die at the hands of another alchemist before I can even get Al's body back_.


	6. Guilt

**Guilt**

"Brother..." Alphonse trailed off. He didn't know what to do. He was just as upset about Nina as Ed was, but he couldn't get Edward to come out of bed. If he wasn't armor, would he be bedridden like his older brother was? Was he losing out on an emotion because of his body?

No. He wasn't, but Alphonse didn't understand why his brother was so upset.

Ed couldn't get out of bed.

Alphonse tried bribing him with food, but Edward just wouldn't budge. He didn't want to move; he just wanted to think of what he could have done to prevent what happened to Nina.

 _"If I didn't have you to play with, Edward, just what would I do to Nina?"_

Tucker had said that one phrase, not long before Edward and Alphonse were forcibly removed from the home. Ed had been completely grateful, and hadn't even remembered Tucker saying this until after they found out about Nina and Alexander.

If he had stayed...if he had done what Tucker wanted him to do...would Nina still have been transmuted?

If Tucker had been occupied with him, would he have been able to save her?

Edward didn't know the answers to these questions, and it killed him. He just wanted to be able to save the girl who he cared so much for. Her and her dog.

But he was weak and selfish. Too weak to endure pain, too selfish to stay and protect her. Ed _knew_ there was a possibility that Tucker could turn to Nina for the pleasure he had been providing, but he did nothing. He didn't even warn Mustang that it was a possibility.

He just waited.

"Brother..." Alphonse trailed off again. Tears begun to stream down Edward's cheeks and he knew he was making distressing sounds.

"Don't worry, Al," Ed said, his voice breaking slightly as he spoke. "Don't worry about a thing. I'll be fine."

He would have to be fine.

He needed to restore Al his body.

He needed to get back at Tucker.

* * *

 **Sorry I was late, guys! I moved last weekend and everything has been so hectic!**


	7. A Father

**Since the original story was based on the 2003 anime of Fullmetal Alchemist, I decided to throw in a little piece from CoS. Sorry I'm an hour or two late!**

* * *

 **A Father**

Hohenheim had seen Edward since his boy was young. They had caught up in Resembool for a brief amount of time, with Edward spending the time being angry with him while on the run from the military.

He hadn't expected to see him in Germany, on the other side of the gate.

"Edward…" Hohenheim trailed off as he remembered looking down on his son in worry, fear, and horror when he had first seen Edward on the other side of the gate.

Worry at how Edward would react in this new world.

Fear that his son would never be able to go home.

And horror at the realization that Alphonse was in the other world, by himself. A lonely fifteen year old boy in Amestris while there was a lonely and scared sixteen year old in Germany, in the middle of a war.

It had been years since Edward had first turned up on this side of the gate. Edward was eighteen now, but still, neither of them knew how Ed had ended up on this side of the gate.

Edward had no memory.

But something was bothering him.

"What?" Ed asked. While he wasn't outwardly acting angry as he had been before when they were in Resembool together, he was acting slightly nervous. Not outwardly so, but Hohenheim had been around for a long time and knew a nervous person when he saw one.

The question was, was Edward acting nervous because he was away from his brother?

Or was it something else?

"I know we haven't had a very good past, Edward, but-"

"We didn't _have_ a past," Ed interrupted. "You ditched us before we got the chance to make one."

 _That sounds more like Edward,_ Hohenheim thought to himself. _But something is still going on._

"Despite out history, Edward, you should know you may come speak to me whenever you feel the need to," Hohenheim said. "I'm still your father and the least I can do is listen."

"I thought you just said, 'despite our history'," Ed retorted, smirking to himself.

"And I thought you said we didn't have a past," Hohenheim responded. "We can run in circles with this all day, Edward."

"Look, can we do this tomorrow?" Ed asked. "I'm so tired."

"It's morning, Edward," Hohenheim said. "We've just finished breakfast. I know you like to eat and that food can make a person tired, but I've never known you to sleep all day." It seemed like all Edward ever wanted to do was sleep lately, and Hohenheim was beginning to worry that Edward was possibly becoming depressed. "I just want you to talk to me if something is bothering you."

"There's nothing bothering me," Ed said. "Now, come on, I really am tired. We'll talk about this later." Without another word, Edward made his way to his bedroom - a room that used to be Hohenheim's office in his apartment - and closed the door. Hohenheim had a feeling he wouldn't be hearing from him again for the day.

Hohenheim was right. He didn't hear from Edward all of the next day. He even left his apartment to go to work - he was teaching at a university nearby - and when he returned, Edward still had not left his room. Or at least, Hohenheim noticed nothing that indicated Edward had left.

He knocked on Edward's door.

There was no response.

Hohenheim was having enough of this. His son could be a hermit inside of their apartment, but he would be damned if Edward stayed inside of his room, not even allowing his own _father_ to see him.

Hohenheim knocked on the door, more as a warning this time, before walking into the room.

Edward was sitting up in his bed, tear tracks staining his cheeks, as he stared out the window.

"Oh, Edward..." Hohenheim trailed off. He moved toward his son to be of comfort, but was stopped.

"No!" Ed exclaimed when his father came closer to him. "Leave me alone! I told you I was tired!"

"Obviously that's not the case, Edward," Hohenheim said. "I don't understand why you won't come to me. I can help you if you just tell me what's bothering you."

Hohenheim knew he couldn't truly help Edward. He couldn't give him Alphonse or return him home. All he could do was provide a comforting shoulder if need be.

"You can't help me," Ed said. "There's nothing you can do. The past is in the past."

Hohenheim nearly thought Edward was speaking of being in Germany when he wanted to be in Amestris, but the last statement brought Hohenheim to think of something different.

 _The past is in the past._

"Edward, there's nothing I can do about the past," Hohenheim said. He assumed Edward was speaking of Hohenheim's leaving their family. How wrong he was.

"I know there's nothing you can do," Ed said. Hohenheim couldn't help but think that his son sounded miserable and pathetic. "I'm not asking you to do anything."

"I can't let you sit here and wallow in this, Edward," Hohenheim said. "It was a long time ago; you can't stay stuck on that forever. Life goes on and you have to as well."

"What?" Ed asked, raising an eyebrow. He had no idea what Hohenheim was talking about. Sure, everything his father had said was true; he couldn't just sit in the dark and pretend like everything was the same as all those years ago, but he never told his father about what happened to him, so how could Hohenheim talk about it so easily?

"I'm sorry for the pain I caused you when you were young," Hohenheim said. "I'm sorry for not being there when your mother passed, and for not supporting you and Alphonse through it, but that's in the past now. There's nothing I can do to change it."

"Wow..." Ed trailed off. "That is... _so_ not what I'm talking about."

Hohenheim paused in thought before asking, "Then what _are_ you talking about?" His son couldn't just start babbling about something Hohenheim wasn't even informed of. Or maybe he could. Hohenheim didn't even know.

"I can't tell you," Ed said. Even though he had managed to tell Hughes and Mustang all those years ago, he just couldn't tell his father. Hohenheim hadn't been around for him, and who was to say that he wouldn't do the same thing Tucker had done?

"And just why not?" Hohenheim asked. He was genuinely worried about his son and he wanted to be able to help him. He couldn't help Edward when the teenager wouldn't talk.

"It's private," Ed said, and he felt a pang of guilt saying it. Over the past few days he had spent with Hohenheim, he had to say that they bonded a bit. It was like getting his father back after all these years, and Ed couldn't deny that it felt pretty good.

"Private?" Hohenheim asked. "I'm your father; how private could it be that you couldn't tell me?"

"Look...this just isn't something I go around telling people," Ed said. "I'm not just keeping this from you."

"Have you told Alphonse?" Hohenheim asked. He didn't understand why he even asked the question; those boys never kept secrets from each other. Even when they were young and either parent would try to keep a secret from one of them, they would still tell the other. Whether it was a birthday present or a surprise party, if Trisha or Hohenheim were to surprise one boy, it would have to be a surprise for both.

"...Not right away," Ed answered.

"What?" That wasn't the answer Hohenheim was expecting to hear at all. "I thought you two told each other everything." Edward seemed a bit shocked his father remembered this.

"Well..." Ed trailed off. "Not this."

"Edward, please," Hohenheim begged. "Let me in."

"I can't," Ed said. "It took me _years_ to tell Alphonse this. I can't..."

"Is there someone else you would tell?" Hohenheim asked. "A therapist maybe...?"

"NO!" Ed exclaimed. "No way in hell will I tell a stupid shrink anything!" Mustang and Al bugged him for months to go talk to a therapist and Ed would be damned if he let _Hohenheim_ talk him into going to see one.

"I'm sorry I suggested it," Hohenheim said with a sigh. He wished he could make Edward feel better, but it seemed like the teenager was content to stare out his window and cry. "I'll go work on lunch. Is there anything you'd like?"

There was no answer.

Hohenheim sighed again and left the room.

* * *

There was a knock on the door of Hohenheim's apartment the following day. Hohenheim reached the door to answer only to discover Alfonse Heidrich holding several books filled with papers.

"Hello, professor Hohenheim; is Edward home?" Alfonse asked, lifting the books further into his hold. "He hasn't shown up to class for the past few days, so I brought notes for him."

 _That's right,_ Hohenheim thought. He had completely forgotten Edward was taking classes at the university, and he was friends with Alfonse.

"Yes, he's home," Hohenheim said, moving a bit to invite Alfonse inside. The young blonde walked into the room holding the several books in his arms. "Alfonse..." Hohenheim trailed off. He might be able to use his son's friend.

"Yes, professor Hohenheim?" Alphonse asked. Him and Edward only met because of Alfonse's admiration for Hohenheim's professor - even though Edward told his friend that Hohenheim was a shitty professor - and ended up taking classes together.

"Well, Edward hasn't been feeling well lately and he won't really open up to me," Hohenheim said. It was no surprise there; Alfonse knew how strained his and Ed's relationship was. "Would you do me a favor and try to talk to him for me?"

Alfonse paused to process the information. Edward wasn't one to be known as weak or anything. Alfonse was actually surprised Ed hadn't shown up to class. Ed, being obsessive over the study of rocketry, had been known to come in to class vomiting and having to be sent home before willingly missing a class. Hearing that his friend had not been feeling well, keeping secrets from his father, along with not going to school had Alfonse worried.

"Of course I'll talk to him, professor Hohenheim," Alfonse said. Hohenheim pointed to where Ed's room was, and the blonde hesitantly made his way over.

First, he knocked. He didn't want to be rude by walking into Ed's bedroom unannounced, but when there was no answer, Alphonse had no choice but to walk into the room after another warning knock - something he picked up from his own father.

What Alfonse saw shocked him.

Edward was where he was the day before, sitting in front of his window with fresh tear tracks staining his cheeks.

Firstly, Alfonse had never seen Edward display any sort of weakness. He had also never seen him with his long hair out of its usual ponytail, and Alfonse had to admit that Ed looked less like professor Hohenheim with his hair down like that.

Alfonse had also never seen Edward without his usual heavy clothing. In the comfort of his home, Ed had forgone his usual shirt, vest, and coat, opting to have his shirt completely removed.

Alfonse didn't even know that Edward wore prosthetics.

Alfonse had to force himself to speak up. The words were caught in his throat and he didn't know what to say to get his friend's attention.

"Um...Edward...?" Alfonse asked. He felt as though he was talking to a brick wall when he didn't receive an immediate response, but soon enough, Ed had turned to him. Alfonse was a bit frightened at the sadness that infiltrated the older teen's eyes.

"Hey, Alfonse," Ed said. His voice was quiet. He had been quiet for much longer than usual. The last time he remembered being quiet this long was when the abuse...Ed didn't want to think about that. "What's going on?"

"Um..." Despite getting his attention, Alfonse was still so unsure of what to say. He thought professor Hohenheim was just being the usual parental amount of worried. He didn't think there was actually that much of a problem. "I brought notes from class."

"Oh," Ed said. "Thanks."

"And," Alfonse said, grabbing Edward's attention again. "Professor Hohenheim asked me to come talk to you."

"Did he?" Ed asked. After a moment he muttered, "Of course he did."

"Are you sick, Edward?" Alfonse asked. He never questioned Ed's mental stability until now.

"No," Ed said. "I'm not sick." _Just sad_ , Ed thought to himself.

"Edward," Alfonse said, finding the courage to be more firm. He even sat down on Ed's bed beside him. This is what Edward would do if he were in this situation. "Tell me what's going on."

Ed stared at the mimic of his brother. He missed Alphonse so much, and now he was dead...A day didn't go by that Edward didn't think of his younger brother, Alphonse, but Ed had begun to accept that he was stuck in Germany, and even hope Alphonse was alive. Despite accepting that he was in Germany, Ed continued to look for a way out, though.

Or at least he was.

Until he saw _him_.

"Have you..." Edward began. He wasn't sure _where_ to begin. He wasn't about to tell Alfonse his life story or anything - partly because he wouldn't believe him - but he wanted to ask something. "Have you ever seen someone who's done something really bad to you?"

"I'm not sure what you mean, Ed," Alfonse said. He lived a rather good life. Alfonse never had anything done wrongly to him, and he was accepted into the rocketry program at university fairly easy.

"I mean..." Ed trailed off. "Something bad happened to me when I was a kid. I saw the person who did it, but...I don't know if they're still the same person."

Ed had run into Tucker when he was sixteen and saw that the man had been kept alive as a chimera. Ed had met Alfonse, the doppleganger of his younger brother in this world. Now, though...now he had seen Tucker on the other side of the gate.

"Does this have something to do with your prosthetics?" Alfonse asked. He was still a bit shocked about that, but he hadn't said anything before in order to spare Ed's feelings in his fragile state.

"No," Ed said quickly. "I've had these for...a longer time."

Alfonse hoped he would have the opportunity to ask Edward all about them later.

"I think if someone did something bad to you - bad enough to make you skip class and hide in your room - you should avoid them," Alfonse said. He wasn't entirely sure what Edward was talking about still, but if he could give Ed even the smallest bit of advice with the amount of information he was given, Alfonse would do it in a heartbeat.

"What if he tries to repeat what he did to me?" Ed asked.

"I guess if I were you, I just wouldn't go out by myself; at least not anywhere he could turn up," Alfonse said. "What did he do to you, anyway?"

"I can't..." Ed trailed off, closing up in the same way he had done with Hohenheim the day before. "I just can't..."

"You don't have to," Alfonse said.


	8. Therapy

**Therapy**

"I still don't understand why I need to be here," Ed said as him and Alphonse sat outside the therapist's office. Mustang was giving the therapist the details on Ed Elric's situation.

"Because, brother, you've obviously suffered from this and it would help to talk about it," Alphonse tried to reason. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Ed there in the first place.

"I can talk to you about it, Al," Ed said. "I don't need to talk to a complete stranger."

"Brother, you can always talk to me, but will you?" Ed didn't answer. "You're always so concerned about looking strong in front of me. Otherwise you would've..." _You would've told me about Tucker..._

"I know, Al..." Ed trailed off. He knew how prideful he always was in front of his brother, and after hiding it all these years, Edward had to admit that he still didn't see the point of needing to 'talk' about anything. He had been doing just fine on his own until everyone spilled out everything.

"If you know, then you'll accept the therapist," Alphonse said. There was no room for argument, and Edward only begun to play with his thumbs and look around the waiting room. Nothing of importance.

Suddenly, Mustang walked out of the room he had been in with the therapist. He must have finished giving details on what was going on.

"Fullmetal," Mustang called. "He's ready for you now."

"Sure," Ed said, standing and moving to walk toward the door of the therapist's office until he noticed that Alphonse was not following him like Ed thought he would be. "Uh...Al?"

"Yes, brother?" Alphonse responded. He could tell the colonel was just as confused as he was when Edward had stopped walking.

"You're not coming in?" Ed asked. If armor could look confused, Al would definitely look confused right now.

"Why would I go in with you, brother?" Alphonse asked. "You're supposed to be talking about stuff you don't want to talk about in front of me." He secretly didn't want to hear about Edward went through, still wanting to pretend it had never happened in the first place, but if Ed truly wanted him to hear it, he would.

"You have to come in, Al!" Ed exclaimed. The colonel glanced over at the therapist, but the man appeared as though he expected this. With his psychological background, he probably _did_ expect it after having the situation explained to him.

"All right, brother; I'll come in," Alphonse said, standing from where he had been sitting. "If it's all right with you of course, sir," Al said to the therapist.

"Of course," the man said. "I wouldn't want to make Edward uncomfortable."

 _Too late,_ Ed thought to himself.

* * *

"It's good to see you today, Edward," the man said when the three of them - him, Ed, and Alphonse - to sit down. Ed had planted himself firmly next to his brother. "My name is Clay, and I'm going to help you recover from your past abuse."

"How much did Mustang tell you?" Ed asked. He had a tight grip on Alphonse's armor leg. This didn't go unnoticed by Clay, but went unmentioned.

"He told me your history of abuse with the late Sewing Life Alchemist," Clay answered. "He didn't go into any details; he only spoke of what happened and that you had finally come forward about it. You were twelve when it started, correct?"

"Eleven," Ed corrected. "I was eleven when it started and twelve when it ended."

"My apologies," Clay apologized. "And you're sixteen now, yes?" Ed nodded. "It's been a long time. I bet you feel like you should've gotten over it by now."

Of _course_ Ed felt like he should have gotten over it by now. It wasn't like it was a very long period of time, and it could have been worse. He could have died instead of living.

"But you shouldn't feel that way," Clay said. "It may seem like a short duration of time compared to how long it is now, but you have every right to feel upset over what happened still."

"Can we stop talking about this?" Ed asked.

"Brother, the only reason you're here is to talk about it," Alphonse said.

"I told you before we even came here that I don't want to talk about it," Ed responded. "That's why I don't see the point in coming here."

"That's understandable," Clay said. "You don't want to talk about it because you want to pretend like it never happened."

"You're putting words in my mouth," Ed said. "I just don't want to talk about this anymore.

"Very well, what would you like to talk about, Edward?" Clay asked. "My time here is all yours for the next hour."

"Well..." Ed trailed off. He hadn't thought of what he _wanted_ to talk about. He just wanted to stop all the talking. He wanted to go to bed and pretend nothing had ever happened to him or Alphonse. "Are you married?"

Clay knew what this was. It was small talk with a motive behind it. Edward had been sexually abused by a male, and if that was the case, the teenager might feel uncomfortable with someone who wasn't married. But why was he riding with the colonel just fine?

Of course! It was Alphonse. Alphonse made Edward comfortable enough to ride in the car with the colonel to Clay's office, and that was the reason he wanted Alphonse to come into the room with him. He felt safe with his brother near.

"Yes," Clay answered. "I have a son and daughter too. They're both a few years older than you."

"Oh," Ed said. He didn't know _what_ to say.

"How old are you, Alphonse?" Clay asked the boy in armor. He was told by the colonel that Edward had just turned sixteen and assumed Alphonse was older.

"I'll be fifteen next month," Alphonse answered. "February 15th."

"Oh," Clay said in surprise. He hadn't thought about Alphonse potentially being the younger brother, but it did rise a question. Why did Edward feel safer with his younger brother near? Maybe it was because his size was intimidating. "Are you two close?" That was obvious.

"Do you really have to ask?" Ed asked, raising his eyebrow. He didn't know if Clay was a smart man, but since he was a therapist, he _had_ to have some brain skills.

"Of course," Clay said with a chuckle. "Is there anything you'd like to ask me, Edward?" The teenager only tuned him out, looking away from the man.

"Brother, you're being rude," Alphonse chastised.

"It's fine, Alphonse," Clay said, excusing the elder brother. "This time is all about him, and he can do with it what he pleases. If he'd like to tune me out, he can." _He won't tune me out forever, though; they never do,_ Clay added internally.

Despite the fact that Edward was doing so well to ignore the man sitting in silence, waiting for a response from the teenager, Clay noticed his hand was still clamped tightly onto Alphonse's armored leg. It was even his flesh hand, meaning he needed the reassurance of touch, as he couldn't feel with his automail hand.

Clay glanced at the clock on the wall of his office when their time was up.

"Well, Edward, I guess that's all the time we have for today," Clay said, standing from where he had been sitting. The boys stood as well, Ed eager to get out of there. "I'll see you next week at the same time, all right?"

"Why?" Ed asked. "It's not like we actually talked today. We didn't make any progress."

"That's because we need more time," Clay said. "It might take a while, but eventually, we'll be able to talk openly together."

"Fine," Ed said, rolling his eyes. "Let's get out of here, Al."

"All right, brother," Alphonse said, following his older brother out of the room where Hawkeye was there to bring them back to their room in the military dorms.

Clay sighed as he watched them leave the building. Edward Elric would definitely be work.

* * *

Clay remembered the day that Edward had stopped bringing his brother in. He remembered like it was yesterday because it was such an achievement they had made with his progress, and there was barely any progress with Ed being too afraid to say anything about anything in front of Alphonse.

It was shortly after Edward's seventeenth birthday. Clay thought it would take a while before Ed would be comfortable without his brother, but he had never expected it to take a year. The time they had spent together with Al just meant that Ed was talking about the weather or asking questions about Clay, himself. The therapist could only assume that Edward must have finally been comfortable having known Clay for a year, and decided his brotherly bodyguard was no longer needed.

"Hey," Ed said as he walked in, and there wasn't the usual clanking of the younger armored boy following behind him.

"Good afternoon, Edward," Clay greeted when Ed crashed down onto a chair in the room. Clay said nothing about Alphonse not joining them. He didn't want to backtrack on any progress they were making. "What did you want to talk about today?"

"I've been thinking about something, and..." Ed trailed off. "I wanted to talk to you about it."

"That's what I'm here for," Clay said. "Go ahead and say what's on your mind."

"It's about..." Edward bit his lip. Clay had never seen the teenager so incredibly nervous like this before. Nervous and embarrassed. "It's sort of about Tucker."

"Go on," Clay encouraged.

"Can..." Ed squirmed around in his seat for a minute, obviously uncomfortable with the topic he was about to bring up. "Is it possible for someone to...make someone not have any...Oh god." The teen pressed his hands up to his eyes to cover them.

"Edward," Clay said. "Anything you say in this room stays in this room, and you know I would never judge you for anything you say. Take a breath and try again."

Ed removed his hands from his face, rolled his eyes, and took a breath. He found Clay's methods idiotic, but he always went through with calming himself down by breathing at Alphonse's insistence. Surprisingly, he continued to do it even without the influence of his brother.

"I don't have..." Ed's cheeks lit up bright red. "I don't have... _sexual_...feelings for anyone."

"No one?" Clay asked. Ed shook his head. "And you're worried about this?" The teen nodded. "Well, I don't think it's much to worry about in your situation."

"Could Tucker have caused this?" Ed asked. "I need to know if he's the reason I can't feel this way."

"The abuse he put you through could have psychological affects, but I don't think he could completely ruin your sexual drive," Clay said. "It's possible that your brain refuses you to feel sexual attraction because of what he did to you, but if that's the case, we can reverse the affects."

"How?"

"By doing this," Clay answered. "If we continue to talk about it, we can make everything better together. I'm not saying you will be the same ever again, because I'm sure you won't be, but we can make things better."

"What if I never feel...that...for anyone?" Ed asked, the pink still tinting his cheeks in embarrassment from talking about something to private.

"If you don't feel that way, you shouldn't think much about it," Clay said. "It could be possible that Tucker has nothing to do with it. You could be asexual, or even demisexual."

"I guess..." Ed trailed off. "I guess I just won't think about it. I probably shouldn't even be thinking about it right now. I've got Al to worry about."

"You need to worry about yourself too," Clay said. "You worry about you. Keep coming every week and we'll have your issues sorted out, all right?"

"All right," Ed said with a relieved sigh. He just wouldn't worry about it.

"And you know my door is always open when you need me outside our usual hours," Clay said.

"I know," Ed responded. "Thanks, Clay."

* * *

 **So, I just wanted to say that all of these chapters were pieces I wanted in the original story that never made the cut. If you guys had something you wanted, just let me know and I'll write it up!**


	9. Telling Winry

**Okay, I know I was super late. Honestly, I didn't even realize that I didn't post until just now, but I have a perfectly good explanation! Next week is my last week for the spring term, so I'm in the middle of finals and research papers. I'm writing a research paper due Tuesday, as well as taking an exam. I have another exam on Thursday, as well as a teacher conference. Next week, I have two more exams on Thursday and that's it! Then I get about a week of refresher until I go back for the summer term.**

 **That being said, I'm going to have to call on a small break, just for this week and next week. When school lets out, I'm going to take that time to write a butt load of chapters and get right back to you! So, see you on May 5th!**

* * *

 **Telling Winry**

Ed sighed as he collapsed on the sofa. He hadn't visited Winry in a while and was glad he finally had the time to visit. Well, he was also getting maintenance on his automail, but he liked to take that time to visit properly with Winry too; when she wasn't working on his limbs, of course.

He and Winry made their feelings for each other known during one of Ed's past visits, but now that Al was restored, Ed finally felt comfortable acting on those feelings. Winry eagerly waited for Edward and was glad that her waiting had finally paid off.

This was the visit that Edward and Winry would truly spend together.

Ed had to admit that he was nervous. He still felt deeply affected by what Tucker had done, even if he was eighteen years old now. It had been over four years since Tucker had hurt him, and he was only hurt for about a month. Ed felt like he should be over it by now, but remembered what Clay always told him. It was normal to feel this way, and understandable that he still felt affected.

Everyone who knew about what happened understood, but Ed had never told Winry about what happened. He had already made her cry enough because of the things he did, and he wasn't going to do it again. So when Mustang pointed out girls and Edward didn't seem interested, he didn't think too much on it. But being with Winry...Ed thought he would feel different because she was a girl and he was hurt by a man, but...but it was still very much the same.

When Edward and Winry finally got their opportunity to be alone - after Al and Granny had gone to bed - they made their way to Winry's bedroom. The others would think Winry was staying up all night to work on Ed's leg - and she would totally do that after they spent some time together - and Ed fell asleep in Winry's bed, which had happened before.

Edward couldn't help but feel horribly uncomfortable at being undressed in front of Winry. Being undressed in front of Alphonse wasn't hard; he was his brother and didn't have any sexual desire to go after Ed. Winry, though...They were both intending to make sexual advances on each other, and Edward hadn't experienced anything sexual since he was twelve years old.

"Edward..." Winry trailed off, taking a hand on placing it on the scars littering Edward's torso. They weren't scars from his past abuse; they were scars from his journey with Alphonse. A large scar rested on his abdomen where he had been struck with a pole that went through him. There were also scars from his automail surgery, and of course, the scars that rested on his leg from the time he had tried to harm himself when he was young.

"It's fine," Ed said with a reassuring smile, even if he was scared as hell. He had never been so close to anyone this exposed since Tucker. He gently reached over and kissed Winry's cheek. While they had admitted their feelings for each other some time ago, he was still pretty worried about kissing her on the lips.

"Do you think this could work, Ed?" Winry asked, and Edward almost thought she was going to say that she knew all along about what happened to him, but she didn't. "Because we're friends and all."

"Oh." Ed let out a sigh in relief. "I think we both know each other more than anyone. I think this could work."

"I think so too," Winry said. "I just needed to hear you say it." She reached over and kissed him, and he gripped onto her, holding her close. The two crashed backward onto the bed in their distraction with each other, and by the time the two of them broke the kiss, Edward was feeling ten times better about being with Winry than he had been earlier.

It was when the two returned to their kissing and Winry shoved her hand down Edward's baby blue boxers that everything went downhill.

* * *

"Alphonse! Granny!" Winry called in a panic. It took the two of them a minute to respond - Pinako being older and Alphonse still being weak from being restored. When the two entered the room they saw Winry wearing a bathrobe and Edward curled in the corner of her bedroom.

Ed had his arms wrapped around his knees, which were pushed into his chest. He obviously wasn't listening to anything that was going on, wrapped inside of his own head. He was visibly sweating and shaky.

"Brother!" Al called out, to which Edward responded by snapping his head in Alphonse's direction.

"Al?" Ed asked in such a broken voice. The youngest brother hurried over to his brother's shaking form and took the blonde in his arms. Winry was quick to hand Alphonse a blanket. Edward had been rejecting her very presence, so she hadn't been able to wrap her friend in a blanket, but Alphonse could now that he had Alphonse responding.

"What happened?" Pinako asked, wanting to get as much information as possible so she knew what to do to help. Alphonse seemed to be taking everything in his very capable hands, but obviously there was something wrong that could happen again. Possibly when Alphonse wasn't there to help.

"We were kissing on the bed," Winry said. She was in no position to be embarrassed when Edward was like this. "I touched him underneath his boxers and he just started panicking like this."

"Oh no," Alphonse moaned out.

"What?" Pinako asked. Obviously Al knew what was wrong.

"I can't tell you," Al said. "Brother needs to tell you himself, but right now, he needs to speak to someone on the phone."

"The phone is in the kitchen," Winry said. "Can you get him down there to talk?" Alphonse nodded.

"Brother, do you want to go talk to Clay?" Al asked. Edward had significantly calmed and only nodded softly. "You get dressed, okay? Meet me in the kitchen."

"Stay," Ed said. He didn't want to be alone. He couldn't face Winry with the embarrassment he had over what happened alone.

"Of course," Alphonse said. "I'll stay as long as you need me to."

Edward was quick to get dressed. He only threw on the sweatpants and t-shirt he had been wearing when he met Winry in her room before making his way down to the kitchen with Al. Winry and Pinako were left in confusion as to who Clay was, why Ed needed to talk to him, and why he had such a horrible panic attack over being touched by Winry. The two hadn't even started to have sex yet.

 _"Hello?"_ Clay answered the phone. He expected calls like this at all hours from his patients, and he _had_ told Ed to call him if he needed him.

"Clay?" Alphonse asked. "It's Alphonse Elric."

 _"Oh, hello, Alphonse,"_ Clay greeted. _"I can only assume you're calling because of Edward."_

"He needs to talk to you," Al said.

 _"Something happened?"_ Clay asked.

"Yes, sir," Alphonse answered. "I'm going to pass the phone over to him now." The youngest Elric wasted no time in handing the phone over to his older brother. "I'm going to go talk to Winry and granny now, brother." It was important for Edward to know his brother wouldn't be far.

"Don't tell them," Ed said.

"Of course not," Al responded. "I won't tell a soul. You tell them when you're ready." Ed nodded before Alphonse left the room. He put the phone to his ear. "Clay."

 _"Edward, son, what happened?"_ Clay asked. _"Unless you just wanted to talk to me because you felt like it."_ Clay knew that wasn't the case because of Alphonse, but he would humor the teenager.

"I tried to have sex with Winry," Ed said. He was embarrassed to talk about it, but more embarrassed about what actually _happened._ "It didn't end well."

 _"Do you want to talk about it?"_ Clay asked.

"Yeah," Ed answered. "I...I freaked out during..."

 _"Do you know what caused you to panic?"_

"She touched me...under my boxers..." Ed said, a blush rising to his cheeks. Just because he was more comfortable with Clay to talk about these things didn't mean he particularly liked it. Like any young man that was having trouble in bed, he was embarrassed. "I don't know; I just freaked out."

 _"And she doesn't know about the abuse, does she?"_ Clay knew the answer and the reason behind it.

"I don't want her to cry," Ed said.

 _"I understand, my boy,"_ Clay said. _"You can tell her at your own pace, Edward, but I think you_ should _tell her."_

"You do?" Ed asked.

 _"If you told her what happened, she could be more sensitive to your needs,"_ Clay explained. _"She would be able to avoid your triggers and know how to handle it if you ended up panicking."_

"It wouldn't have mattered if she knew how to handle it; I only wanted Al," Ed said.

 _"Then she would know to get Alphonse for you,"_ Clay said. _"I don't see any drawbacks for telling her."_

"Crying is a drawback," Ed said.

 _"But she would be crying_ for _you,"_ Clay said. _"And only for a short amount of time. I'm sure Winry only wants you to be happy."_

"I guess..." Edward trailed off.

 _"If she didn't want you to be happy, why would she have touched your penis?"_ Clay asked.

"Oh _god!_ " Ed exclaimed, the blood furiously rising to his cheeks as Clay mentioned his genitalia. " _Don't_ say it like that!"

 _"You're already sounding like your old self,"_ Clay said with a chuckle. _"Do you still feel like talking, or do you want to rest?"_

"I think I'm gonna go apologize to Winry," Ed said. "Thanks, Clay."

 _"All I did was point out what you already know, son,"_ Clay said. _"I'll see you when you return from Resembool. Make sure you see me as soon as you get back."_

"Yes..." It was on the tip of his tongue to say _yes, sir_ , but Ed knew he could never do that. "You got it," he said instead. The two ended their phone call before Ed had to go talk to Winry.

He dreaded it.

Edward walked up the stairs to Winry's room. Granny was sitting on Winry's bed beside her, and the blonde girl had replaced her bathrobe with a pair of pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt. Alphonse stood in front of them, waiting for Ed.

"Did you talk to Clay?" Alphonse asked.

"Yeah," Ed answered. "I feel a lot better now. I'm sorry for worrying you guys."

"Who is Clay?" Winry asked. "I know you boys like to keep your secrets, and I get it, but there's a reason you acted like that, and I want to know why and who made it better by talking to you on the phone."

Ed cast his eyes downward to the ground. He was busy staring at his automail foot, trying to figure out just what to say.

"Brother, you don't have to talk about it," Alphonse said. "You can tell them when you're ready." It had taken Edward a long time to come out and tell even his younger brother about what happened. Al knew it would take some time.

"I...I want to," Ed said. He took a breath like Clay always suggested to calm himself down. "Clay is my therapist back at Central."

"A _therapist_?" Winry asked with wide eyes. She looked over at Pinako to find there was no shock with the older woman before looking back to Edward. "Why would you need a _therapist_?"

"There are plenty of reasons why," Ed answered. "But there's one reason in particular why I _do_ have a therapist."

Winry was waiting for the reason. Al was looking over worriedly at his brother.

"I should've told you guys this sooner," Ed said. "I didn't even tell _Al_ until I was sixteen."

"What is it?" Winry asked.

"I was...abused," Ed answered. He avoided everyone's gazes. "It was...sexually..."

"Oh my god..." Winry trailed off. "When? By who? What happened?"

"It was...oh god, the years run together now," Edward said. "It was when I was studying to be a State Alchemist in Central. It started when I was eleven and stopped when I was twelve."

"If I had known, Edward, I would've..." Winry didn't know _what_ she would have done. She couldn't have stopped the person from hurting Ed - she was just a girl herself. She was only twelve when everything had happened, and had just turned thirteen when Ed turned twelve.

"I know," Ed said, and he really _didn't_ know, but he knew that Winry didn't know. He only knew this because Alphonse was the same way when he told him. Mustang and Hughes had said they would have killed the man, or at least taken Edward out of his care, but they were fully grown men when everything had happened. "Anyway, that's why I need therapy, and that's why I freaked out earlier."

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Ed," Winry said. The tears had begun to run down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to take everything bad away, but I can't."

"I know you can't," Ed responded. "Please don't cry, Winry. Please. I didn't want to make you cry."

"You're not making me cry," Winry said. "The person who did this to you is. I'm glad you told me, Ed."

"You're not mad at me for taking so long?" Ed asked.

"Of course not, dummy," Winry said with a small, sad, laugh. She stood and wrapped her arms around her friend. "We can do this together, okay? I'll do whatever I can to help you."

"...Thanks."


	10. Responsibility

**Sorry I was gone last week! It was so hectic, but all worth it to get that A in math! This is short, but more to come next week.**

* * *

 **Responsibility**

Winry had been having trouble sleeping enough as it was. Being eight months pregnant with twin boys didn't exactly come prescribed with sleeping aids. Winry had been trying her best to follow Granny Pinako's home remedies for sleeping, but she was still up at night.

She had finally gotten some sleep and woke to Ed.

"Edward?" Winry asked. He was standing on the balcony that was connected to their bedroom, staring up at the night sky. The best thing about living in the country was that the stars always littered the sky without city lights.

She climbed out of their bed – with a bit of difficulty due to her swollen stomach – and made her way over to the balcony.

When Winry placed a hand on Ed's shoulder, she couldn't help but notice how he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Ed?" Winry asked. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Ed answered with a sigh. From the dark circles under his eyes, Winry knew he hadn't been sleeping well lately. He was usually up with her, so he was getting just as little sleep as she was, but the sleep he _was_ getting was restless.

"Tell me what's bothering you, Ed," Winry said.

Edward sighed. "You always get upset when I talk about it," he said, and Winry knew what he was talking about.


	11. Interrupted Pleasure

**Interrupted Pleasure**

It wasn't often that Ed had time alone, as Alphonse was always with him, but now, the fifteen year old was able to finally be by himself.

And he had big plans.

It was completely natural for a teenager of his age to feel the urge of arousal, but this was the first time Ed actually had these feelings with the opportunity to do something about it.

He locked the door that led to the rest of the military dorms and did his best to keep quiet. He didn't want anyone to know what he was doing, even though he was sure the other soldiers in the building did the exact same thing when they couldn't get a girl.

Ed sat in his boxers and a t-shirt on his bed for a few moments before shoving his hand under the blue rim and feeling himself inside.

Everything seemed to be going all right for the first few moments. But suddenly….

He couldn't stop thinking about Tucker.

About his abuse.

About how he felt like he _liked it_.

When Tucker had been…sexual with him…Ed felt _hard._ He had hated it, but what if…what if he didn't? Tucker had said before that he liked it; what if the man was right?

The thoughts dissipated as everything went black.

* * *

When Alphonse returned to the military dorms, the first thing he heard was Edward screaming. There were other soldiers gathered around the dorm room, trying to get in, but the door was locked.

Al panicked. He hadn't heard his brother scream that harshly since they found out Nina had died, and before that, not since their human transmutation.

When the suit of armor managed to push past everyone and open the door with a key – that he thought he wouldn't need, but was glad to have – he saw his brother.

Ed was curled up in the corner. His knees were pressed to his chest and his hands were running through his hair – that was let down as if he was going to sleep – as he rocked in place.

"Brother!" Alphonse cried. Ed had stopped screaming when his brother was near, so the other soldiers returned to their rooms, sure to talk about this incident for the next few days. "Brother, tell me where you're hurt."

He received no answer, and the younger brother had to untangle Ed's hands from his hair to prevent him from pulling out the long strands.

"Brother…"

"I…I…" Ed had half a mind to tell his brother what happened to make him regress to this state. How he had tried to masturbate and suddenly was like this; that he didn't remember getting to be like this in the first place. But he couldn't. He didn't want to.

"Nothing, Al…" Ed trailed off as he recollected himself. It was a challenge to force himself to calm down. He wanted to scream or punch _something_. But Al didn't know. All he could say was, "I'm sorry."

"Something must have happened to make you like that," Al said. "I thought you were dying in here!"

"I'm not, Al," Ed responded. "Sorry for scaring you. I'm gonna go to bed." He stood from where he was curled up and threw himself on the bed.

He wouldn't be doing anything like that again.


	12. Haunting Memories

**Haunting Memories**

Edward sat at a table by himself in the mess hall. He liked to be alone when Alphonse wasn't around. It gave him time to think and he didn't have to worry about his younger brother standing beside to interpret his thoughts.

Lately, though, this girl had been sitting with Ed. She liked to talk about the weather and ask about his alchemy. She seemed to be fascinated with the idea of Ed preforming transmutations without a transmutation circle.

The first thing Ed noticed about this girl was that she was much older than him, but still young. He was only fifteen, and she seemed to be about nineteen. It wasn't like Ed was looking to her as a potential mate or anything; he just didn't think about those types of things.

The girl, her name was Marie, sat beside Ed as she ate her lunch and the two made small talk. More like Marie made small talk and Ed listened to her, nodding when he needed to and making the appropriate gestures at the appropriate times.

After she left, Ed sighed. Alone at last.

Until the Colonel popped up behind him.

"So, Fullmetal," the Colonel said with a chuckle from behind him. "You're not interested in older women, are you?" he asked as he sat beside the teenager.

"Of course not!" Ed exclaimed. "Not like someone like me really has a choice in the age of their peers. I'm a child prodigy, remember?"

"If you don't like her…" Mustang trailed off. "Maybe you're into older men?"

Ed tensed. "What?"

"Oh, did I strike a nerve?" the Colonel asked. "I only ask because you seem so disinterested in the opposite sex. Does your brother really come first in everything, or are you just trying to cover up homosexuality?"

Edward could tell from his automail clanking that he was shaking. How many times had he asked himself the same question? Was he gay? Had Tucker made him gay? Ed knew he didn't show a lot of interest in women, but…well, he didn't really show a lot of interest in anything. Ever.

"Edward?" Mustang asked, his tone changing from a teasing and light tone to concern. "Are you all right?"

The teenager said nothing, whipping from the table as fast as he could. He needed a restroom, and fast.

Ed collapsed inside of a bathroom stall when he reached the mens room and quickly emptied his stomach in the porcelain bowl. He hadn't had a say in it, but thinking of all those thoughts again…It always made him sick like this.

The Colonel wasn't far behind him.

"Are you sick?" Mustang asked, reaching a hand out to touch Edward's back. He stopped himself just before touching him. "If you were sick, you should have called in. I don't want my entire team getting the flu because of you." He was concerned, and it showed in his voice, though he masked it with his words.

"Yeah, I'm sick," Ed said. He wouldn't tell Mustang about how when he teased him about the possibility of being gay, it made Ed sick to his stomach. He wouldn't say anything about the bad thoughts that were roaming through his head. How he thought maybe he was gay too. How he despised himself for it.

"I'll head back to the dorms," Ed said. "You're right; I shouldn't be getting the team sick."

"Right…" Mustang trailed off, and he couldn't help but feel a strange sense of worry as he watched Edward leave the bathroom.

* * *

 **Sorry I forgot to update on Thursday! I'm calling a temporary hiatus until I can start writing again. Summer classes are rough, man!**


	13. Basement

**Basement**

 **Sorry for having really short chapters, guys. While writing 'Rebellion' helped me to recover from my own issues after my rape, I've actually been struggling to write the deleted scenes, since they're all pretty much about Ed hiding the abuse from everyone else before the story even happened. It's pretty triggering and makes me feel this knot in my stomach whenever I type it. I'm going to continue at it, though! Because of this, there might not be updates every week anymore.**

 **Update: It's been months since I started writing this chapter, and I'm not feeling quite as awful about writing it. So, with that said, I might be able to get more of these in. Oh, and if anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear!**

* * *

During the investigation of Shou Tucker, right after Nina had been killed and Tucker had been executed - without so much as a trial - Edward was brought to the scene of the crime.

Well, he was brought to Tucker's house.

Alphonse was back at the dorm they were assigned after leaving Tucker's house and Ed found himself facing the basement door.

Just waiting.

"Are you coming in or not?" the Colonel called to the twelve-year old. A team had been going through Tucker's materials and when they found the strangely empty basement, they felt that something was off. They needed to investigate.

"Yes..." Ed cut himself off. He couldn't say 'yes, sir'. That wasn't an option. Despite not finishing his sentence, Ed continued through the basement door, finding the team standing in the puddle of light that Edward himself had been forced into just a few /days/ ago. He shivered with the memory.

"You alright, Edward?" Hughes asked, placing a hand on Ed's shoulder. The kid jerked in response, trying to calm his heart. "Roy, I don't think Ed knows anything. He doesn't need to be in here right now."

"Nonsense, he lived with the man," Mustang replied. "He's /got/ to know /something/ we can use in our investigation." There was a pause. "Havoc, I want you to get a sample of that blood," Mustang ordered, pointing at the small spatter of blood on the ground. Ed's eyes widened. That was his blood. He quickly stepped on it.

"Fullmetal!" Mustang barked. "I /just/ ordered Havoc to get a sample of the blood and you /contaminate/ it?!"

"I didn't mean to," Ed muttered, trying to pass off the act of being clueless. It was dumb, but it worked, since Mustang only pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Havoc, nix the blood. Hughes, get Fullmetal out of here."

"I told you he didn't need to be here," Hughes muttered under his breath, but he knew his friend had caught it. Ed caught it too. Hughes placed a hand on Ed's shoulder - and this time the kid didn't jerk away - and gently guided him out of the basement. It was no place for a child anyway. "Ed, level with me; are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Ed replied. "Just...It's just weird being here without Tucker and Nina is all." If he had to play the kid missing his friend card, he would. He would do whatever it took to get the /hell/ out of the house before he ended up having a real panic attack.

"...If you're sure..." Hughes trailed off. "Look, I'm gonna have Havoc take you home."

"Can someone else take me home?" Ed asked. He knew Hughes wouldn't let him walk to the dorms by himself, but...Ed didn't want to go with a man. And he was embarrassed to admit it. But he wanted to go with a woman. Or at least someone less threatening.

"How about Fuery?" Hughes asked. Ed nodded. Fuery was smaller than Havoc and he was gentler too. "All right, I'll have Fuery take you home."

"Thanks, Hughes."

He couldn't go back to that basement.


	14. Seeing Him

**Requested by Ashley123654. Thank you for requesting this, Ashley, it was a joy to write!**

 **Seeing Him**

After Alfonse had dropped off Edward's books and left, the blonde was left to think in his room. Hohenheim hadn't come to bother him, but Ed knew the man had most likely badgered Alfonse to know all the bloody details of what they had said.

In truth, Ed hadn't said much to Alfonse. He had kept his words vague, only mentioning that something bad had happened and he had seen the perpetrator. Ed knew the boy that resembled his brother so much had most likely been able to put everything together, but he wouldn't dwell on that.

He had other things to think on.

* * *

 _Ed walked through the corridor of the university he had been attending. Hohenheim was a professor at the university, which guaranteed Edward a spot. He had met Alfonse in a class he was taking under a Professor Hobert and the two became fast friends. Ed was friends with Alfonse for different reasons, though._

 _As Ed walked through, his leg gave out, stumbling him through the hall. It didn't happen often anymore, but his leg sometimes still jammed on him, causing him to trip. It had been a frequent occurrence when Hohenheim had first built the leg for him, though it was quickly remedied._

 _Ed scrambled to get his books so as not to clog the hall for very long when someone dipped down and began also picking up his books._

 _"Please, let me help you," a familiar voice sounded. Ed couldn't help himself, his head snapping toward the direction of the voice._

 _There he was._

 _Shou Tucker._

 _Ed's heart raced and he didn't know what to do. Should he run? Should he punch him? No, it wasn't the real Tucker, but at the same time, it was Tucker. Was he the same type of person?_

 _"Are you alright?" the Tucker wannabe asked as he handed Ed his books. The blonde could barely function properly enough to take the books into his hands, but he did. Ed was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed Tucker walking away until a hand clamped on his shoulder, causing him to jump nearly five feet in the air._

 _"Whoa, Ed, are you alright?" Alfonse's voice asked. Ed let out a breath of relief. It was just Alfonse._

 _"Who was that?" Ed asked, trying to keep his voice as level as he possibly could. He was sure he was white as a sheet._

 _"That's Professor John Tucker," Alfonse answered. "He teaches some of the literature classes. Came here from England, and I've heard he likes to give extra credit to anyone who's willing to be his intern."_

 _"Yeah?" Ed wondered what he made those interns do. "Have you taken a class with him?"_

 _"Not really; I've been avoiding his class," Alfonse replied. "He just...He gives me the creeps."_

 _"Oh." Ed took his books and turned away._

 _"Ed?" Alfonse called after him. "Where are you going?"_

 _But the shorter boy ignored his friend, doing the only thing he knew how to do when it came to Tucker._

 _He got the hell out of dodge._

* * *

"How are you doing, Edward?" Hohenheim asked when his son finally emerged from his room. At least the blonde boy had thinking power to put his clothes back on. The nights were cold in Germany during the winter, and Hohenheim didn't want Ed to actually get sick.

"I'm fine," Ed grumbled, slumping onto the table. Hohenheim slid over a cup of hot tea to his son.

"That'll warm you up a bit," Hohenheim spoke. Prices of everything were rising in Germany, including the cost of heating. "What did Alfonse speak with you about?"

"You mean you didn't ask him?" Ed raised an eyebrow. He expected Hohenheim to have the four-one-one about it by now.

"The only thing I asked him was if you were able to confide in him," Hohenheim replied. "You've caused me a bit of worry and I wanted to make sure you had _someone_ you could speak with."

Ed sighed. If he spent too much time thinking about whether or not he should tell Hohenheim, he never would. Even if he thought it was betrayal to Alphonse for keeping him in the dark for so long.

"When I was a kid I was sexually and physically abused," Ed blurted. Hohenheim stopped in his tracks. He knew his son hadn't had an easy life, but never expected those words to come from his mouth. "It was by a State Alchemist I studied under until I was able to pass my exam."

"How old were you?" Hohenheim asked. He felt like he was asking the wrong question, and that if he asked the wrong questions, Edward would shut him out all over again.

"I was eleven when it started and twelve when it stopped," Ed answered. "It was only for about a month, though."

"You seemed to become more upset about this in the past few days," Hohenheim commented. "Was there a specific event that triggered this depression?"

"I saw him," Ed replied. Hohenheim's eyes widened.

"Where?" the man asked.

"At the university," the teen answered. "Apparently he's a professor there. My leg jammed and I dropped my books, and he was there to help me pick them up. His name here is John Tucker."

Hohenheim knew that man. John Tucker was a professor at the university he worked alongside. He had a bad feeling about Tucker since the moment he joined the staff. He had hastily joined after moving from England, leaving everything behind. He gave extra credit for students who stayed after classes and became assistants to him. Hohenheim had always wondered what they would do during that time and now he had a sneaking suspicion.

"Edward, I want you to stay away from his class," Hohenheim ordered. "You hear me? Stay away from that man."

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Ed replied. "Of _course_ I'm gonna stay away from him. I'm not dumb enough to let myself get hurt again."

"Dumb...?" Hohenheim quickly grabbed his son's shoulders. "Listen to me, Edward. You are not dumb for what happened to you. You did not cause that. You were a child and he was an adult."

"Thanks for the therapy session, pop," Ed spoke. He shrugged Hohenheim's hands away from him before heading to his room.

Hohenheim sighed. If he had never left his wife and children, Edward never would have been hurt. He wouldn't have necessarily lived a happy life after Trisha died, but they would have been better off. Edward would have an arm and a leg because he never would have lost them, Alphonse never would have lost his body. They would have grown up in Resembool and Hohenheim was sure one of them would have married the Rockbell girl.

Hohenheim sighed as he took the cup of tea he had given Edward and returned it to the kitchen. Dare he go and make sure Edward was okay? What if he wasn't? Hohenheim wasn't sure of what to do and he wished more than ever for Trisha's guidance.

 _You would make sure he's okay,_ Hohenheim thought to himself.

If he left himself too much time to think, he wouldn't do it.

Hohenheim stepped toward Edward's room and gently knocked.

"Go away," he could hear the teen mutter.

"I'm coming in," Hohenheim announced. He hoped the warning was enough for his son to make sure he was decent.

"What the hell, Hohenheim?" Ed exclaimed when the blonde man entered his room.

Hohenheim got a clear look at Edward.

He had removed his own leg, wrapping his blanket around himself and he was curled up in his bed. He had also removed the tie in his hair, allowing golden locks to flow over his shoulders.

But what Hohenheim noticed the most was the boy's bloodshot eyes and tear tracks.

"This again?" Hohenheim asked. He wasn't criticizing. Or at least he didn't intend to sound like he was.

"Go away, Hohenheim," Ed replied.

"Not this time," Hohenheim spoke. He sat down beside his son, wrapping an arm around him. Ed did push away at first, but after a few moments, the teen relaxed in his hold. "I'm sorry that I left you and your brother when you were young. If I hadn't left, you wouldn't have been hurt."

"Shut up," Ed muttered. "It's not your fault that I lived with a pervert."

"You don't need to worry about John Tucker," Hohenheim spoke. "He's not going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you again."

"I know; I'm not an idiot," Ed replied.

"It's going to be okay."

"Is this your pathetic attempt at comforting someone? Because I don't need it."

"You're a good kid."

"I'm not a kid, you bastard." But he relaxed just a bit in Hohenheim's hold.

"You're a good kid."

"What did I just say to you?" And he allowed himself to be pulled a bit closer.

"You're a good kid."

"Are you just going to repeat the same thing over and over again?" He tried desperately to hold back tears in his watery eyes with biting comments.

"You're a good kid?"

"I'll take that as a yes." His head began to rest against Hohenheim's shoulder.

"You're a good kid."

And eventually, the responses stopped coming.

* * *

 **So, there's a poll on my profile that you guys can check out and vote on what I should be working on. Right now, this story isn't in the options, but if you want it to be, just review that you want it to be a poll option here; if I get three reviews asking it to be added to the poll, it will be added!**

 **For now, options include a few rewrites I've been working on and all the stories that are listed under _Future Works_ on my profile. Check it out and let me know! You can vote up to 10 times in case something gets added and you want to change your vote. **


	15. Warning

**Warning**

 **Sorry about the huge wait, guys. I graduated from State College in May and now I have to get a job to pay for University. I don't get any benefits and my parents can't afford school for me, so it's a job for me and student loans.**

 **Requested by WrathAndRain**

 **Ed almost accidentally gives away the secret and Tucker finds out and goes ballistic.**

* * *

In attempts to stay away from Tucker, Ed had found himself taking every opportunity to keep away from his current residence. Alphonse was often there with Tucker and Nina, though, bringing worry to Ed. Still, he was sure Alphonse would be fine, and he could protect Nina too. It wasn't like Tucker had taken an interest in Al, and he didn't have a body to be violated.

Ed was sure he would be fine.

In the meantime, Ed had been visiting Central Command with Mustang's team every so often. When he wasn't with them, he was checking out the investigation's department to see Hughes. Ed was sure he would fail the State Alchemist exam with his efforts being taken from studying and put toward escaping.

Ed was currently in the outer-office of Central Command with Mustang's team. Hawkeye was in the inner-office with Mustang, going over important documents. Ed was pretty sure she was just lecturing him on not falling asleep over his paperwork. Havoc was busy explaining to Ed how they filed through their paperwork which later went to Mustang. While it wasn't incredibly entertaining, it was better than what Tucker had to offer. It was then that Ed had caught a glimpse of the clock.

"It's getting late," Ed announced, standing from where he had been sitting beside Havoc. "I better get going or I'll be in for it."

"Huh?" Havoc raised an eyebrow. What exactly would Ed get in trouble for when he had no parents? At at three o'clock, no less. He didn't know that three o'clock was all Ed would allow himself, as the time he had let it go to three thirty in the afternoon, he was in the basement for _hours_. "What are you talking about?"

"What do you mean?" Ed asked. He was worried he had let something slip. He went over his words, making sure he hadn't said anything about what Tucker could do to him.

"Is something going on?" Havoc asked. "You're staying with Shou Tucker, right? He's not treating you badly, is he?"

"No, no!" Ed protested quickly. "Nothing is happening!"

Havoc looked the kid up and down. Surely he would know if something happened...It was probably nothing. Tucker was probably just protective of Ed, wanting to make sure he was home in time for dinner and had the opportunity to go over alchemy research together. After all, Ed wasn't officially a State Alchemist until he passed the test, no matter how much time he spent with the team.

"You want a ride back?" Havoc asked. "I'm sure Mustang will be okay with me taking a break to take you."

"No, it's fine," Ed replied. He didn't want the trip back to be any quicker. He had been holding his breath, torn between wanting Havoc to find out about everything and desperately /needing/ to keep this secret. "I'll see you guys later."

He walked back slowly. Ed just hoped when he walked through the door, he wasn't immediately ordered to go to the basement. There were days Ed could get away with not being sent there, and those were the days he thought there might be a God.

After leaving the office, Ed couldn't help the sigh of relief. He didn't even realize that he had been holding his breath while waiting for what others would say next. He couldn't let anyone else find out. He couldn't let anything happen to Al.

When walking through the front door of the Tucker estate, Ed was pleasantly surprised when he was not greeted at the door by Tucker, but rather Nina and Alphonse.

"Welcome home, brother!" Alphonse exclaimed with joy. He had noticed the long hours Ed had been putting in with Mustang's team, but just assumed his brother wanted the experience with the team that he couldn't get in a library. It wasn't uncommon for Edward to get antsy, even with a full library at his disposal.

"Yeah, welcome home, little big brother!" Nina greeted. Ed couldn't help but kneel down to the brunette.

"Hey, Nina. Did you miss me?" Ed asked, ruffling the top of her hair, pulling it out of her twin braids for a moment. The girl nodded. "Hey, Al, can you go see if I put that book from last night back in the library? Tucker will kill me if I left it in our room again." He had already been punished for it, and he knew it was in the library. But he needed Alphonse to leave.

"Sure thing, brother," the armoured boy replied before turning out of the room to visit the library.

"Daddy says it's important to put things back where you found them," Nina commented with such innocence.

"Hey, Nina?" Ed asked. "Does your daddy ever...Does he ever touch you in ways that...that Al and I wouldn't?" He needed to know.

"Uh huh!" Nina answered. "He gives me a bath every night, and I know you and big brother wouldn't give me a bath."

"I mean...other than washing you?" Ed pushed further. "Does he ever hit you?"

"Sometimes I get a spanking when I'm real bad," Nina replied. "Has daddy ever given you a spanking before?" Ed tensed. He didn't want to talk about it.

"I think that's enough questions for now," Tucker spoke from a distance before coming into Ed's view. "Nina, why don't you go draw daddy a new picture for my collection?" Tucker suggested. "I think it's about time for a new one to keep in my study."

"Yes, daddy!" Nina exclaimed excitedly before running off to do what her father asked.

Tucker watched his daughter run off before turning his eyes to the blonde. He knew exactly what Edward had been trying to do. And he wasn't going to let him think he could get away with it.

"Were you trying to ask my daughter if I had ever abused her?" Tucker asked. Ed stayed silent. "Were you trying to tell her that I had abused _you_?" He paused when the boy maintained silence. "I'm training you, Edward. And apparently you need more of it to understand what that means." Tucker didn't need to say anything; he simply pointed toward the basement entrance, where the boy turned and walked toward.

Ed didn't need to be told anything. He knew he was wanted in the middle of the basement where he would be a toy for Tucker. He would be subjected to whatever the man wanted him to do.

"I thought the threat of your brother was enough to keep you from telling anyone," Tucker muttered as he followed the child down. "But apparently you don't care about your brother at all. Do you?"

"You shut up!" Ed exclaimed. "I care about my brother! I'm going through all this crap you're doing for /him/!" He jumped when Tucker pushed the boy to the ground.

"You're going to throw away all of my precious work, Edward!" Tucker shouted. "Just before my assessment too! Do you know how difficult this was to get approved with General Grande?!"

"W-What...?" Ed trailed off, his eyes widening. General Grande? He knew?

"And now you're going to throw away everything!" Tucker growled with anger, kicking into the boy's stomach, knocking the wind out of him. "You're going to destroy it all! Then what will I do, Edward? I'll have to turn on Nina next!"

"You're disgusting..." Ed groaned out. "You're a sick bastard. I hope you go to jail for this. Grande too!"

"Ah, but we won't," Tucker grinned. "You see, Grande has been a very flexible recruiter for me." He laughed at his own thoughts of when he had used his wife to create a talking chimera. Ah, those were the days. Grande had been so proud of his ability to think innovatively. Grande had allowed the illegal experiment, taking credit of recruiting the first alchemist to create a talking chimera. Now Grande would be able to take credit of recruiting the first alchemist to create the perfect soldier.

"You bastard..." Ed muttered.

"Come now, if you come take care of me I'll only let you off with a warning," Tucker spoke. He sat down in one of the spare chairs in the basement. Ed knew what he wanted.

The blonde came close, remaining on his knees. His stomach hurt like hell and he knew there would be bruises the next morning. But at least he could hide it from Alphonse. Reaching forward, Ed undid Tucker's trousers, frowning down at the engorged member in front of him.

"You'd look so much prettier if you'd smile*," Tucker commented. Ed didn't give him the satisfaction. "Very well, carry on."

Ed took the manhood in his mouth. It tasted salty and his mouth felt dry. He knew Tucker was enjoying it, since the man was practically drooling over him. It didn't take long for the older alchemist to finish, to which Ed was grateful.

"Don't spit, Edward," Tucker reminded. "Swallow. Good boys swallow**."

He wanted to throw up.

Tucker cleaned himself up quickly, turning to pull out a few supplies he had brought down to the basement a few days ago when Edward had defied him. He didn't have the opportunity to use it.

"Come here, Edward," Tucker called. Ed didn't hesitate. This was his warning. "Place your hand down on this table here." Ed reached out. "Your left hand," Tucker added when Ed had moved to place his right hand down. The boy bit his lip, placing down his left hand. "Good boy."

Tucker was swift, taking the mallet he had brought down on the child's fingers. A resounding crack filled the room and Ed continued to bite his lip to prevent from crying out.

"Next time I won't be as lenient on you," Tucker stated as Ed nursed his broken fingers. "And Edward, next time, remember to smile."

* * *

 *** I included this part because I thought of how it's something so often said to women by men. I dreamt about telling my friend about my own sexual assault and rape last night, so I felt like including this here.**

 **** I saw some guy wearing a shirt that said _'Good Girls Swallow'_ once.**

 **As always, requests are still open! And more reviews to this will get it added to the poll on my profile!**


	16. Self-Doubt

**Self-Doubt**

"What are you doing, daddy?" Ethan asked as Edward entered his sons' room, shutting the door behind him.

"Mommy already put us to bed," Anthony spoke from his shared bed, rubbing his eyes.

Ethan and Anthony were just six-years old, and Ed's heart swelled every time they did anything. He had no idea how his own father had the heart to leave when he and Al were this age.

"I wanted to talk to you guys...without mommy," Ed replied. He sat down on the ground beside the small bed Ethan and Anthony shared, looking down on the two sets of blue eyes staring back at him. Winry's blue.

"What's wrong, daddy?" Ethan asked.

"You know how mommy gives you a bath?" Ed asked. Both twins nodded. "And you know how she touches in some spots to get you clean?" He earned another set of nods. "I just want you boys to know...If someone ever touches you boys there outside of your bath...someone other than mommy...even if that someone is _me_ , I want you to tell mommy right away. Do you understand?"

"What about granny?" Anthony asked.

"She's safe," Ed answered. "You can tell her and she can touch you like mommy does." Pinako had bathed Ed, Winry, and Alphonse when they were toddlers, and even bathed Ed before his automail and when he was still going through physical therapy.

"Okay, daddy," Ethan replied. "Can we sleep?"

"Yeah." Ed gave a soft sigh. He gave each son a small kiss on the forehead before tucking them in.

From outside the room, Winry's heart broke.

* * *

 **Short, but I've been wanting to do something like this for a while now. I have a job now, so we'll see how everything goes update-wise.**

 **And, please, if you have any requests, let me know! I'm itching to play around with this story, but I don't have a lot of ideas coming to me.**


	17. Cold

**Oh my god, it is an actual chapter from me. Yeah, hurricane Irma is coming through so school got cancelled for a while and I'm sick as a dog, so I'm blowing my nose every few minutes and just basically dying in my bed waiting for this hurricane to hit right on top of me.**

 **By the way, did you guys see my new icon? You should go look, I worked really hard on it. -Fingerguns-**

* * *

 **Cold**

The generator had done a wonderful job of breaking down in the middle of a snow storm. Central wasn't known for their warmest months, and the heater in Mustang's office was done for. Hawkeye had called for maintenance over an hour ago, but Ed was convinced they were out getting coffee or something instead of getting their asses over and fixing the heater.

"I could use a coffee right about now," Mustang commented, having moved to the outer-office so he would know when the maintenance staff arrived. Havoc said it was really so Hawkeye could keep an eye on him in case he tried to sneak out for coffee instead of working.

"I'm gonna freeze my balls off," Ed muttered, shivering a bit in his chair.

"I thought you'd be nice and toasty with your big coat," Havoc commented. "I mean, you wear that thing in the summer. So it's not like your sense of temperature is the same as everyone else's."

"Well, you're right that my sense of temperature is different," Ed replied, hugging his coat further to himself to conserve warmth. "My automail is sensitive to temperature. I wear it in the summer to keep it from getting too hot from the sun. I could burn my skin off. I can get frostbite in the cold."

"Damn, that thing sucks," Breda commented. "But if you're really that cold, you should huddle with someone for warmth."

"You should do it with Breda," Havoc said with a snicker. "He's got the most fat. And he suggested it after all."

"I'll do it!" Breda challenged, pulling Ed's chair close to him and pulling the teenager in his hold. "Feeling warmer yet?"

"Let me _go_!" Ed protested, fighting away from Breda's hold. He pushed the man off of him and leaped six feet away from him.

"Jeez, that hurt," Breda moaned, grabbing at his arm where the automail had pushed against him roughly. "I was just tryin' to help."

"It was a joke, man, lighten up," Havoc said. "You're really too sensitive, Ed." The teenager was about to bring up every swear word in the book when Mustang placed a firm hand on his flesh shoulder, causing him to flinch.

"You lot should stop fooling around. If you're not going to work, I don't see why we're all suffering in the cold," Mustang spoke to the other team harshly. It was when everyone turned their backs to their work that the colonel let the teenager go. "It's okay, Edward, you can step out for a moment if you need to," Mustang added in a more hushed tone to the teenager.

"Can I use your phone?" Ed asked. The Colonel paused for a moment. His phone wasn't always a secure line since there were those who liked to tap military lines. But he had a feeling Edward wasn't calling anyone that was in a threat of being tapped. At least, if it was, those listening in would quickly realize that there was no information being gained from the call.

"Yes," Mustang replied, watching the boy as he rushed out of the room and into the inner-office.

"Was that such a good idea, boss?" Havoc asked. He remembered when he was that age he could wreak havoc*. Ed was even more mischievous than he was as a teenager.

"Get back to work," Mustang barked.

* * *

 _"Hello?"_ Clay answered his office phone. He always gave Edward his office and his home phone number so the teenager could call him at any time. Ed's case was so much different than anyone else's. Clay was used to working with victims of sexual assault, and he was used to working with military officers. But this boy was a victim of sexual abuse, a military officer, _and_ he was just a child. It was an entirely different set of rules around Edward and Clay would be lying if he didn't say the situation was quite interesting to him.

"Clay," Edward muttered. "I...don't really know why I called."

 _"Well, did something in particular happen today?"_ Clay asked. Every time Ed called, he always claimed he didn't know why he was calling. The therapist had summed it up to Edward not wanting to admit that he needed help, and having trouble asking for it. _"Are you at work?"_

"Yeah, I'm in the office..." Ed trailed off. "I...The heater broke today."

 _"Oh?"_ Clay's interested had piqued. Obviously something had happened related to the heater. Though, Tucker had never tried to hurt Edward with any sort of hot object, had he? Clay couldn't remember and Edward's files were only filled with as much as the teenager would tell him and medical records. He would need to go back and have a look later. _"What happened after the heater broke?"_

"One of the guys tried to hug me for warmth," Ed spoke in a much softer tone. He then became a bit flustered. "I mean-I didn't even know what to think at first. Like-I-Well, it was like this; Breda grabbed me and hugged me for warmth and-well, I thought-I mean, I was kinda annoyed, but then I couldn't help but...well...I panicked a little bit."

 _"Calm down a bit for me, Ed,"_ Clay replied. He was very familiar with teenage lingo and speech patterns. Edward was familiar with them as well, and used them when he was nervous. _"So one of your coworkers hugged on you for warmth and you panicked? Visibly or internally?"_

"In my head," Ed answered. "Mustang made them quit messing with me and let me call you in his office."

 _Good,_ Clay thought to himself. _The Colonel is helping Edward by allowing him to call me in private and not panic in front of others._

 _"I want you to take a few moments and breathe for me, alright? Keep me on the line while you do it,"_ Clay instructed. He could practically _hear_ Ed rolling his eyes, but could hear the breathing as well. Ed always hated the breathing exercises, thinking they were a, as he called it, "load of horseshit".

"Now what?" Ed asked.

 _"Now tell yourself that it is alright that you panicked,"_ Clay continued. _"You know better than I do that in a situation like you experienced in the past, the mind reacts to it in order to get you out of that situation. Whether it's fighting or fleeing, you mind tells your body what to do. You mind learned that being held like that is a sign of danger because of Tucker, and so you fought to escape like you have taught yourself."_

"I love science as much as the next alchemist, but just tell me what I need to do next," Ed spoke in a bored tone.

 _"You can get off the phone with me now if you'd like,"_ Clay said. _"I'll see you at our next appointment either way. But I do want you to not be so hard on yourself. Just stay closer to the Colonel and his First Lieutenant today and make sure your boundaries are clear. Tell the others you are uncomfortable with the touching and if they don't stop, tell the Colonel."_

"Oh, yay, I get to stick to Mustang like a pansy and then tattle on the others if they pick on me," Ed muttered sarcastically. After a few moments, though, he added, "thanks, Clay."

 _"I'll see you tomorrow, Ed,"_ Clay replied.

When Ed got off the phone, he realized he was now sweating. The heat must have come back on! He ran out of the office, excited to finally get warmth when Mustang stopped him.

"Well, the heat's back, but it's stuck on high," Mustang announced. Ed groaned.

* * *

 ***Did you guys see what I did there?**


End file.
